Matzoball

Hipster Glasses? Not Kosher!

matzoball — Fri, 17 May 2013 15:42:30 +0000

Oh hipsters. Time Out New York begged us to kill them in 2007. Indeed, hipsters have suffered a slow and lingering decline since – dying but not quite dead yet. The snarky art students of yore have morphed into lawyers, stockbrokers and professionals, working during the day and slumming at night from their fancy condo digs, across the street from Katz’s Deli on the lower east side. So ubiquitous has been the influence of the hipsters that we see their pernicious presence everywhere! Frat boys wearing trucker caps and skinny jeans, sorority girls hopped up on E at Coachella wearing lens free, day-glo Ray Bans and … Haredi Yeshiva boys?

Yeah, see, when you’re a Haredi school boy, life is pretty regimented, as it is for everyone who is Haredi. Boys have to wear the same uniform that all men do. Fashion choices are limited to black pants, black jackets, white shirts, black velvet kippah and after your bar mitzvah, a black hat whose style is also proscribed by the leaders of your sect. The only realm in which you have a modicum of freedom of choice is in the decision regarding your style of eye wear.

Well, that was nipped in the bud recently, at least for the students of the Bobover Yeshiva B’Nei Zion school in Borough Park. Parents there recently received a letter telling them about a new policy regarding permissible eye wear:

We are asking that everyone buy simple glasses … What we have to commit ourselves to is we have to stand on top of this and not tolerate the new modernism… The good deed that accompanied the Jews in Egypt was that they didn’t change their names and clothes, and this same strength is still accompanying us and maintaining us in exile — in all generations [Thick rimmed hipster glasses] give the child a very coarse look … It doesn’t matter what age — a student cannot come to yeshiva with these glasses.

Sigh. This is all so confusing. The latest Hassidic innovation in personal eye wear are glasses with thick plastic frames designed to blur out women walking in front of you:

And then there are the two Grand Rabbis of the Satmar sect, brothers Aaron Teitelbaum left and Zalman right who are clearly wearing some pretty hipster shades there. They’ve been fighting over domination of a united Satmar for years, but they do agree on eye glass fashion. Go figure!

The powers that be at the Bobover Yeshiva have decided that only plain, metal rimmed glasses get their seal of approval – thus creating a machloket with Rabbi Israel Hager one of the leading Rabbis of the Vizhnitz who stated in 2011 that metal rimmed glasses, and contact lenses, are actually the ones that are treif: “We must wear the exact opposite of what is worn in Paris!” Given that Rabbi Hager’s daughter is married to Rabbi Aaron Teitelbaum, are we about to witness a new rift in the Hassidic world with Satmar and Vizhnitz on one side and Bobov on the other? Clearly this is a very pressing issue that needs to be addressed as soon as possible. The future vitality and viability of the Jewish people is at stake here. I await further instructions from our gedoilim.

H/T: Jewlicious

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

matzoball — Sun, 12 May 2013 11:10:28 +0000

Buzzfeed brings us a post titled “35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother” – though really they should have made it 36 for the Double-Chai effect, am I right? What, it would have been so hard to come up with one more to make the article perfectly Jewish? But it’s ok. I’ll sit in the dark…

Seriously though, this is an almost great homage to Jewish Mothers everywhere on Mother’s day. Illustrated with those funny animated gifs the kids are posting everywhere now thanks to Tumblr, it contains classics and gems as follows:

You know to always bring a jacket no matter what the temperature is.

She asks, “Are you eating?” every time you talk on the phone.

She says she loves you no matter what your sexual orientation, just raise the children Jewish.

She’d prefer you marry a Jew, but if you don’t it’s not the end of the world. Just raise the children Jewish.

And what does he do? It doesn’t matter if he’s a doctor. It would just be nice, that’s all.

Twenty years later, she’s still talking about your Bar or Bat Mitzvah on a regular basis.

But only because she doesn’t have a wedding to talk about yet. HAVE YOU MET ANY NICE JEWISH BOYS OR GIRLS LATELY?

If you don’t call back immediately, you’re going to get guilt. She knows you’re busy, she just worries.

She reminds you how much your people have been through.

To read the full list, visit BuzzFeed and feel free to suggest #36!

Happy Mothers’ Day from your friends at MatzoBall. Now go call your Mom!

MatzoBowl NYC Pics

matzo — Mon, 06 May 2013 20:00:17 +0000

The New York MatzoBowl took place April 8th, 2013. Thanks to all who came and participated in the inaugural MatzoBowl event at Lucky Strike! It was a great time and we’re all looking forward to more awesome events in the Big Apple!

MatzoBowl New York 2013

Make sure to visit our Facebook page for even more opportunities to interact!

Bonjour Sarah Silverman

matzo — Mon, 06 May 2013 15:21:24 +0000

Jash.com, a collaborative project featuring Sarah Silverman, Michael Cera, Tim and Eric, and Reggie Watts, presents Sarah Silverman in a French New Wave style video clip titled “Féte des Pets.” No. This has nothing to do with puppies or kittens or goldfish. “Féte des Pets” is French for “fart party.” But keep to yourself your American, Puritan abhorrence for all things bodily. This is French. It is art. And there’s a love triangle involved. Also Sarah Silverman’s sister is a Rabbi. In Israel. You can’t get any Jewier than that, right? Right! If you are further intrigued you can also watch the behind the scenes “making-of” video – in case you decide to make this video the focus of your Film School Ph.D thesis. Enjoy. Let us know what you think as well.

H/T: JewTube and Heeb

Would You Like Fries With That Shake Mr. President?

matzo — Sat, 04 May 2013 15:39:55 +0000

McDonalds Israel put together this ad in order to promote their “Big America” Burger – it’s a big “All-Beef” patty that comes in 6 different flavors, each named and themed after a city in the US. The star of this ad is a Barack Obama imitator by the name of Reggie Brown.

You know that old joke? Jesus saves, Moses invests? Well apparently Israel recycles. The ad above was simply repurposed from a 5 year old ad promoting the McRoyale, and this time starring a very bad George W. Bush imitator.

Are there any other differences? Why yes. Bush got “100% pure beef” whereas Obama got “100% unprocessed, pure, lean beef.” Upon receiving the burger, Bush exclaimed “Lucky you were open” whereas Obama stated “God bless Israel!” Interesting. OK, not really. So the question is, are McDonalds and their Israeli ad agency, YEHOSHUA\TBWA, cheap? Or is this simply yet another manifestation of innovative Israeli green tech? Because of the… you know, recycling thing…

Whatever. McDonalds is gross and it’s making Israelis fatter.

H/T: JewTube

MatzoBowl from Coast to Coast – 9 Dates Announced

matzoball — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 00:57:12 +0000

Matzoball is proud to announce the first annual MatzoBowl, a series of bowling events held in conjunction with Lucky Strike, the national chain of bowling alleys that has changed the way people bowl.

The Big Lebowski was an excellent and quirky bowling themed movie and you should definitely see it at some point, if you haven’t already – and if you have, you should see it again. But if what you want for a night out is the chance to meet and mingle with new and interesting young professionals like yourself, in a relaxed setting with good music, drinks and fun bowling, then the MatzoBowl is where you want to be.

The MatzoBowl will take place in 15 cities across the US on different dates. The cities are as follows:

Need more information? Then by all means call us at Phone: 561.767.8009 or send us an E-Mail at info@matzoball.org. Otherwise, see you at the MatzoBowl!

Matzoball 2012 Miami Video

matzoball — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 14:02:37 +0000

Maybe you were at the Mazoball at the Hotel Fontainbleu’s LIV club in Miami and you want to relive it. Maybe you weren’t there and you want to experience it vicariously. Maybe it’s just really cold outside right now and you want a taste of that famous Miami heat! In any case, enjoy this video of what will always be remembered as a memorable evening full of young Jews doing what they do when Christmas shuts down all their other options!

Matzoball Parties Rock America from Coast to Coast!

matzoball — Wed, 26 Dec 2012 13:38:22 +0000

Christmas Eve, 2012 – 8 great cities, 8 great parties, 1000s of young Jews, meeting and mingling till the wee hours. Stay tuned as we share photos and news stories from all the parties with you. Till then, thanks for coming down and making the Matzoball the Nation’s #1 Jewish singles event!

NBC talks about the Matzoball

matzo — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 17:09:16 +0000

Jaimie Blanke, the Matzoball “matchmaker” talks to NBC affiliate WTVJ about the upcoming 26th anniversary Matzoball. Yeah, they brought her a bowl of Matzoball soup.

Blast from the past: Matzoball 2011

matzoball — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 18:28:56 +0000

Ever wonder why the Matzoball parties are so popular? Let’s just say that lasting 27 years happens for a reason – a great concept and a great party filled with happy young Jewish men and women in what has become the singular event of the year. Enjoy this video from the 2011 Miami Matzoball at LIV. Watch the video. You’ll understand perfectly!